Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
