hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
