doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize