what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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