i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
