And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
