He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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