we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
