It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
