im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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