why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
