so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize