He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize