Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
