There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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