you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize