i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
