HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize