My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she pinky promised me she was 18
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Randomize
