More tranny stories later!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
