ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
