your room smells of hookers.
And success
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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