The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
