that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
