Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
