I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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