my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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