So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
