Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
