Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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