I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
