I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
