glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just google imaged poop.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
