New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
