youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
lol hangovers are for mortals.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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