it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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