I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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