how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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