If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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