best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
