I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
