Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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