Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
