CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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