I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
