he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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