I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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