ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
