I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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