She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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