i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I party with great urgency now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize