I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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