Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
