Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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