New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
