This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
