he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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