We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Drake has all the answers
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
