so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
