If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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