also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
